CONFORMING THRU THE AGES

DATELINE: BETHLEHEM 2000 YEARS AGO

City officials responded to a disturbance today on the outskirts of town at the stable of a popular inn. It seems that a local homeowner’s association became incensed at the non-traditional lighting used by the stable’s occupants. A well placed source in the association was quoted as saying, “It doesn’t matter if they were temporary tenants or not, they should know and obey the conditions. That huge bright star above the barn was garish, not to mention an unapproved light, and the strange glow in the windows was disturbing to the surrounding residents. We have strict lighting regulations in this community and we can’t afford to allow nonconformist attitudes to prevail. It will lower our property values.”
More on this story as it unfolds.

DATELINE; GERMANY, 506 YEARS AGO

A local homeowner’s association today accused a prominent theologian of violations of their covenant by decorating for an unapproved holiday. An anonymous tipster observed Martin Luther dragging a fir tree into his home and setting it up by his front window.
Hans Schmidt, the association manager, said, “There may have been more than one violation in Mr. Luther’s actions. Not only did he decorate his home inappropriately, but he put candles on the tree and displayed it in his window in defiance of the Uniformity of Windows restrictions. Mr. Luther came into the community and wanted to step outside the rules. That’s a detriment to everyone.”

DATELINE: 20TH CENTURY

The government of Communist China has banned all Christmas decorations from public areas and private homes. A government spokesperson announced the ban saying, “If people want to live in community as comrades they need to conform to the rules. Non-conformity is a detriment to everyone.”

DATELINE: 2006 USA

A family faced numerous fines today from their homeowner’s association for displaying Christmas decorations on the windowsills of their front windows. The seasonal display violated the restrictions in the associations rule book regarding consistency in the appearance of the neighborhood’s windows.
A spokesperson from the association declined to comment on the case due to impending litigation, but stated that the uniform appearance of the windows and window dressings in the community was important to enhance the property values and foster feelings of community and safety.

Ah, you can’t beat the warm and fuzzy feeling of conformity. It’s far better than that pursuit of happiness and freedom of expression nonsense.