Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Reason For The Season

Thanksgiving is over, we’re still working on those leftovers, and the holidays have kicked into high gear. Of course, one might say they started before Halloween, and good old Santa slipped into the mall in early November, but now they’re here with a vengeance as shoppers line up at 3:00 AM to get bargains, and holiday commercials bombard us with their versions of the “Reason for the Season”.

I don’t want to sound like a female version of Andy Rooney, but I hate the commercials that try to make us believe that what ever it is they’re promoting is the answer to everyone’s happiness during this special time of year.

One commercial that makes my hackles rise every time I see it is the Illinois State Lottery Holiday Instant Ticket promotion. Mixed among the beautiful traditional seasonal images is the message that the holidays are all about giving and receiving lottery tickets. They actually say, “This is what it’s all about.” Then they tell us to, “Give the gift you hope they return.” Ick!

That annoys me on several levels.

They’re subliminally telling us that the sole reason for Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, take your pick, is about getting gifts by giving gifts. And coincidently, while we’re showing our love of family and friends by hoping they give us stuff, we can immerse ourselves in the spiritual experience of gambling with lottery tickets.

The “Box” store commercials try to convince us that the holidays are all about spending our money with them. Drop a load of cash at their store and our celebrations will be perfect.

There’s a band called “The Yoopers” from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and the manic commercials from all the big “Box” stores reminds me of a song on one of their Christmas CDs. They sing, “We celebrate the Savior’s birth by spending all our dough.” Can everyone say, “Amen”?

Then there are the car commercials. Yeah, everyone I know gets cars for Christmas.
One has a choir singing “Hark How the Bells” using only the word Duh. I guess the point of that is that their vehicle is the obvious Christmas gifting choice.

Another luxury automotive brand suggests that you hurry down to your nearest dealer so that you can have the car decked out with bows in time for the holidays. That, of course, is the key to happiness this season.

Am I the only one that finds that a little pretentious?

I think I’ll try to find other reasons besides lottery tickets, cars, and loads of box store stuff as my answer to happiness his holiday season. I’ll start by pondering the real “Reason of the Season”. How about you?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

'Twas The day After Halloween

TWAS THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN


Twas the day after Halloween, when all through the town, not a pilgrim was stirring, none could be found.

The stockings were hung in the stores with care, in hopes that the public, their money would share.

Christmas decorations in greens and reds, caused visions of dancing dollars in corporate heads.

No Thanksgiving figures with cute pilgrim caps, but Carols blared at the shoppers, from Bach to Rap.

Cherry pickers labored at 6o degrees, to place giant snowflakes to swing in the breeze.

To the service window, I went to complain, as they looked at me with clear disdain.

The glow of the wreath upon the wall, made the manager’s nose look like a red ball.

I opened my mouth the scene to protest, “Where’s the pumpkins, turkeys, fall leaves, and the rest?”

“The cornucopias with gourds all aglow, and Native Americans with arrow and bow?”

“The grateful hands, folded in prayer, reminding us to thank Him for all of His care.”

“The cornstalks, and hay bales and tables a-groan, I think this is crazy, am I alone?”

The manager patted me upon my head, then lifted his arms, his fingers all spread.

“All this,” he cried, “gets folks in the mood, to spend their money on more than food.”

“As profits go, Thanksgiving’s a bust, unless it’s combined with commercialized lust.”

“The “Season of Peace” needs a jump start, to persuade the shoppers with their money to part.”

“Our fourth quarter profits depend on this scene, without drawn-out holidays, our year would look lean.”

He then winked his eye, and twisted his head. His maniacal laugh filled me with dread.

The carols grew louder, the Santas all danced, the reindeer and snowmen swirled as they pranced.

The red and green packages bounced in fake snow, the evergreens sparkled, their lights a bright glow.

And laying his finger aside of his cheek, out of the cubicle the manager streaked.

Through the store, he ran, this way and that, and I heard him exclaim as he put on his hat, “Happy Spending to all, so our profit’s not flat!”